Just call me Coco...


For now, this is just general musings and a space for moaning.
Note the 'For now' part of the original statement.

You know the things you think you’ll think about when you’re threatened with the prospect of death?

Yeah well I’m not thinking about them.

Like what my last meal would ideally be or who would be here when I finally died (other than my parents), or what I’d hoped to achieve by said day, what I wish I’d done or said etc.

I’ve been trying to think about my best life moments but it’s not flashing before my eyes. Weird experience. Really weird.

I just want to rest.

As if these actually exist? To the tumblr friend, thank you so much for putting a smile on my face ❤

It’s all very sudden. Everything is.

I’m half expecting a message like ‘I’ve been worse than you and I was fine’.

You might’ve been. Docs just told me I might be nearing the end yesterday though so I’d say I’m allowed to be terrified.

I’ve started to have the moments where I’d be ok if it all just stopped.

I don’t want to be in this pain anymore. It’s gotten way beyond control.

I wouldn’t go as far as ‘euthanise me’ but I’m creeping ever closer to DNR.

Looking particularly fetching with an ice pack on my ‘ead

High flow oxygen - aka the noisiest piece of kit EVER

My note for the day:

It’s all got very serious and scary in camp CF, for me at least. Had some conversations about assisted breathing, ventilation and other big scary things. Had bizarre fits of breathing and passed out and all sorts. It’s been bizarre to say the least.

All you really need to know about my day though, the weirdest part, is that… I’ve been catheterised. Yep. Lol.

Seriously debating…

(via whatsaclockwithouthands)





Asking hipsters about bands that don’t exist. Brilliant.

best thing on the fucking internet.

There’s a lesson here…and a lot of dumb and names that somebody should snag.



(via thehauntedfemme)

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