this has most certainly been the least productive day in my existence
i haven’t even ventured downstairs in my house.
i’ve been eating the chocolate in my room and drinking the tea mum brought up.
the only slightly productive things i have done are: - i deleted pictures on my computer to make space (1067 i’ll have you know!), - i have been/i am uploading pictures in the free space/onto facebook - i’ve found a couple of things i want for my birthday by looking online out of sheer boredom.
it’s not like i’ve got a massive pile of work to do or anything… :|
I was molested by all most all of my guy cousins when I was growing up. I didn’t know it was wrong. I didn’t know why they did it. They’d sneak in and do it while I was asleep. Or while I was taking a bath. And when I said stop, they’d get mad and say they’d tell on me if I made noise. Now I’m…
HELLO CONFESSING PERSON NUMBER 23903. i would like to give you a massive hug please. just cried a little at this.
don’t worry, everything will be ok in the end, i promise because if it’s not ok, it’s not the end. right?
frontwoman… in the vulnerable, interesting character sort of way. not bothered about fame or shit, just would like to express my feelings and sing some songs i’ve actually written, with a group of awesome musicians behind me.
3 problems with this plan:
1. I don’t know how strong my singing is. i DON’T sing in public. i wouldn’t say i’m tone deaf, but i could be just rubbish. i haven’t had the confidence to try…
2. i don’t have an actual band.
3. i haven’t written anything i actually like in ages. and the old stuff is outdated.
I wish I was your favourite girl I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
I wish you couldn’t figure me out But you always wanna know what I was about I wish you’d hold my hand When I was upset I wish you’d never forget The look on my face when we first met
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot That you loved secretly 'Cause it was on a hidden bit That nobody else could see Basically, I wish that you loved me I wish that you needed me I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, Actually I meant three
I wish that without me your heart would break I wish that without me you’d be spending the rest of your nights awake I wish that without me you couldn’t eat I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
23776.) i hate all of you. you aren't good friends at all. sure, we can laugh at the same things but all it comes down to is how shitty you all are to me. so heres a big fuck you to all the bad friends.
ok this is a slight exaggeration.
but it’s weird… i tolerate a fair amount of people.
i’ve been thinking this for a while. like, i have friends don’t get me wrong - i love loads of people! but i have no idea who i can rely on, and who doesn’t bitch about me. it doesn’t bother me what they say so much, it’s the people that just say something… and i happen to find out about it. good friends. yep. :|
someone’s said to me “i begrudge you everything” great. so i have a definite hater too.
and to top it all off i think my best friend hates me? good one.
23591.) I don't think about you anymore. But when I see you with her, its like i feel negative and I can't look at you. Its not like I like you anymore, but what we had was special to the both of us, i guess, from my point. there are days where I still look at your facebook page just to see how you are or whatever. Then there are days where I just still miss you. I dont like admitting it because you know, its over. Like I said, I don't like you anymore, but there will always be something there for you, no matter what, because you were my first love.
do you know what’s funny? had i had a blog a couple of months or so ago, i could’ve written this, word for word.
don’t get me wrong, i don’t still like you like that, but you’ll always have a part of me.
i hope i don’t get in so deep with anyone else unless it’s going to work out. because i don’t want to have to check their facebook page to see if they’re ok. i want to be able to ask…
i tried… but i feel like i can’t because i’m a ‘threat’ to your girlfriend. and i don’t wish to upset my boyfriend either. i like him, and i want him to stay.
maybe we could get in too deep, me and the new fella… it could be good, it could be bad, but either way right now, i kind of want to.
“If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite me thinking that it is impossible.”—