But I get really worried every time I have a headache.
For most people, headaches and migraines are an annoyance rather than a threat right? You should be worried if you cough up blood, you’re concussed or if your face starts to droop, but a headache isn’t a big deal… Unless you’re at risk of hereditary brain tumours.
My dad used to get the worst headaches - you should’ve seen him, he couldn’t do anything. After he had 2 fits on a day at work, out of the blue, they gave him a brain scan and found a tumour the size of a male’s hand, attached to the side of my dad’s brain like a claw - I’ve seen a picture, it was incredible.
They removed the tumour, even though there was a massive risk he wouldn’t make it, and an even bigger one that if he did, he’d probably be brain damaged, because it was attached to such a wide surface of the brain.
He got it removed and made a full recovery, thank god, although his memory isn’t as sharp and his mood swings are more severe. He also seems to be more easily confused, but he’s stable.
The trouble is is that it’s growing back, at a slow and steady rate. It was benign before, so chances are it’ll be benign again, and it’s no threat at this stage. However when it becomes a threat they can’t operate - he’ll have to have chemo or radio therapy, depending on the tumour itself.
So, whenever I get a headache, I worry that I’ve got a beastie growing up there. Silly I know, but I’ve gotta be cautious. I also have to be careful with my loss of hearing apparently :/ so have decided if it doesn’t improve at all by the end of the week I’m booking in at the doctors, against the advice of my CF doctor - I’m not waiting until January for an appointment thanks!
The best thing a mother can teach her daughter is how to be classy. That's the best thing a friend can teach you too.
Without some form of class and respect for yourself you can’t expect people in the workplace or out and about to have the respect for you that you deserve. People can be cruel, don’t give them a reason to be.
For a guy to swap places with you in a club, on the dancefloor, when someone’s getting a bit pushy behind you and knocks into you?
Last night was rammed to the absolute rafters and Chris AND Dash both removed me from awkward dance/kick/punch situations - I just thought that was really nice y’know? And gentlemanly, without trying :)
Something I reblogged has been bothering me. Something about a note to self; a note to self about accepting that people make mistakes/nobodies perfect etc, and that forgetting this will result in ending up alone.
I don’t want to be alone!
Little things people do piss me off. The thing that’s been troubling me though, over the last few hours, is the ways in which Alex and I are different. This was brought on by a silly conversation we had earlier about being northern or southerners. Obviously that was just a random unimportant thought, but that led to other thoughts later on when I had nothing better to mull over. And dya know what? I realised that right now, right where we are now, that shite doesn’t matter. None of it. Because he’s still the first thing I think of when I wake up, and he’s the person I fall asleep thinking about. When I think about things I wanna do and see, I imagine doing or seeing it with him (unless the girls are involved, obviously ;)). The differences would maybe matter if things got reallyreallyreally serious, but I don’t think we’re there quite yet. I’d like to think it was a possibility, but I guess we’ll have to see :/
There’s this girl I follow who posts an awful lot about weed… She’s 16 and clearly hasn’t had to deal with the real world yet.
One day this girl will get a great big smack in the face from life, telling her to man the fuck up and get on with it - it being life, and the real world.
Drugs are an accessory to some sure, it just makes me mad when it becomes routine and a need or something that people hold onto for some twisted form of stability. I hate when people call themselves casual users when we all know that’s a lie. I hate when people do drugs to be cool and ‘fit in’ and all that bollocks, instead of doing it for the intended purpose - a high. I hate when close people I know go on binges because they make me sick with worry. And I hate when people tell me about their drug fueled nights - do I look like I care? The answer to that would be no.
I just really want to shove their heads in a toilet and tell them to get a grip.
I’ve never been one for drugs - tried weed, wasn’t fussed by it and that’s it. The only other pills I pop are prescription darlin’. I may not know how ‘amazing’ it feels to take things, so if you wanna ignore me on those grounds that’s fair enough, but I know how ridiculous it makes people look when you’re the only one not taking shit, and when they’re off their tits on something for what, a few hours of paranoia and/or loving everyone and/or seeing things and/or generally turning into a dim-witted moron. Well woohoo, I’m a fucking wizard - I can be paranoid, love everyone and see things in my dreams while saving a load of money and any risk of being caught doing something I shouldn’t. I can also be a dim-witted moron, if you’d prefer.
I’ve never been a goody-two-shoes, make no mistake. I just… don’t get it.
Not gonna lie, my legs have gone past spikey*. Will fix this tomorrow, when I get up and go out to buy my fancy dress outfit and maybe some chelsea boots that I can’t reallllly afford, before I come back to do some work on this sodding script and cook dinner and generally have a good day.
Yes, a good day, that’d be lovely.
*Sorry to disappoint with the spikey legs, no-one’s perfect and women can’t look heavenly ALL the time.
I’ve literally been sitting here, trying to think about the work I’ve got, and have instead wasted the day doing not a lot, other than thinking about how much I love the whole uni thing and hate it all at the same time.
I don’t know when it was, along the line, that I became a doubter. I really wish whatever happened to me didn’t, so I could get a grip and just get on with it. I mean, I do just get on with it, but I wish I didn’t feel the need to semi open up about it on a nonsense blog.
I used to be some tough nut that was soft in the centre but was strong and could say fuck you to anyone who did something wrong to me, and I could tell someone honestly the reasons I felt for this that and the other. Now I’m worried that if I say anything, brutally honest, someone will hate me or it’ll ruin everything.
I wish I paid attention to similarities and not to differences.
Y’know it’s funny, when you’re with someone close to you, be it a bestfriend, a partner, a family member, things are fine. You feel close, you feel like you know each other, you understand.
And then you’re up the country, miles away, and nothing fits. It’s like you’re in another universe to them. And that your worlds are travelling at different speeds. Like, you don’t think they miss you or that they think of you in the same way because you’re in a different place. Y’know what I mean?
I love uni and everyone I’ve met here so far. I just don’t like the fact that I feel so separated from everyone else.
I don’t mean to be a dick or anything, but sometimes I’m right and know what I’m talking about. In some cases I just enjoy stepping on people’s toes. That’s mean, but everyone finds pleasure in things like that when certain people are concerned ;)
But when people are pedantic with me. Well. Especially when they’re belittling me, or talking to me like a simple child. Grr.
I’m currently sat in the Leeds Station McDonalds, people watching - rather than just do nothing after my lecture I decided to stroll down here to get myself a new railcard and train tickets for friday. On my way I saw buildings I’d never noticed before and I saw some really cool people…
Getting to the point - do you ever have the undeniable urge to talk to a random person? Be it to tell them that they have nice shoes, or to ask were they’re going, or just to tell them they look like a nice person to talk to?
There’s a kid that’s just walked in - looks like the friendly quiet sort - with a rucksack, a scooter and the coolest tshirt on. I have the weirdest urge to talk to this kid - I’d say he’s about 13 and looks like he could use a buddy. I mean this in the least creepy way possible by the way :p he just looks cool.
So many people here look like nice friendly people. You can’t beat the north with a stick. Love it. Although the colder temperatures aren’t necessarily a selling point…
When you express your dislike for something, you'd think people would take note after a while right?
Discussion earlier in Starbucks ended in this: ”My nan still tries to feed me fucking onions after all these years!”
The group burst out laughing, and we carried on with our day. (It was funnier at the time. Probably because I was getting irate at onions…)
It’s fucking annoying though isn’t it? Or is it just me? After all this time, you’d think they remember things like that. Shouldn’t need a reminder really! I remember that Alex doesn’t like tomatoes, so I don’t give them to him (not that he requires feeding, he’s a big boy now, he can cook for himself) and I know to shut the downstairs loo door so mum doesn’t have an OCD moment. Why is it so hard to do the same in return?
I would reallyreallyreally like to do a film apprenticeship in the USA in the summer of 2013 or 2014… but I’ll need funding. Serious funding.
The internships cost between $6000 and $9000 for 2 months :| But, it’s working for companies like Warner Bros, Universal, Disney, etc.
If you know anyone that has lots of money that would sponsor me to do something that cool, feel free to drop me a line. I’d love to work in the film industry and I need all the experience I can get! The bigger the names I work for the better - it’ll be more than worth it, and I’ll buy them a big ass present in return when I get a decent job because of it!