Why are you not seeing your boyfriend on your anniversary?
Because he went out last night with the boys and got so drunk he doesn’t remember a thing and has been hungover and vommy, leaving me angry as fuck at him for ruining the one day this year that mattered to me.
mate, if you love him then it's worth trying. if you've got to a point when the bad things out weigh the good things then maybe its time to give it up for good
I know it is, I’m not one to give up don’t you worry! I can’t even explain it all on here as to what’s bothering me - I don’t particularly want to either. I just don’t wanna be taken for a ride. I’m no saint but I’m worth more than that. I need to chill out, he needs to learn to prioritise, basically.
I’m frustrated. I’m so frustrated. With my breathing mainly, its fucked today mate, can’t move without struggling. And because today was meant to be something y’know? A good something. And instead I’m in, at home, with red raw eyes and wrinkly ‘orrible skin from the worlds longest bath, feeling no better. Off food, off talking to people, off sleep, just not feeling my usual self.
Stressing about a million other things too, but let’s not even go there…
I’m the new Bridget jones. In the bath. So wrinkly you’d easily mistake me for 70 something. Body brushing and everything. Wow.
iTunes is reading my mind, nice and loud too. Far too hot, looking disgraceful, relying on itunes for company, top Friday night… :|
God, wonder what 2012 has in store. Dread to think. Not looking forward to it at all. Had a bout of sudden realisation earlier, about what I’m doing with my life… Scary thought. Already know how this years gonna go. I can feel it in me waters.
So, my friend sets up a new years eve facebook event and casually forgets to invite me. Now, I organised the most recent group thing (the meal) so how likely is it that he’d just forget? Clearly not bothered if I’m there or not after all the bullshitting I heard before. Fuming.
The boyf went out last night, was hammered, which is standard, but has been vommy and can’t remember a thing, is still drunk, will be hungover and I was meant to be going over for a nice night in for our (sort of) year anniversary tings. But, y’know. Fuming.
Everyone says they’re desperate to go on holiday and whatnot, and then as soon as I mention anything nobody wants to go anywhere. It’s like I’m a massive repellent?! And yet people still come to me for everything else. Fuming.
Currently have no one to live with next year. Fuming.
And I give up with my lungs. They’re a bag of fucking shit.
Eurgh. I hate today. Bed it is. After my massive fry up and a DVD.
It’s cool, I’m winding down with a bzillion puffs of my inhaler, a glass of water, and beyonce. Oh bey!
Apparently she’s in labour. This pleases me and chills me out. It also makes me super broody. I held little Finley Josef (my new, absolutely gorgeous 3 week old third cousin) for a good hour earlier and that was it, definitely want one. Just sat and chatted away at him, got some gas out of the little man and sang a few nursery rhymes to him while he stared at me. He cried in everyone’s arms but mine. Clearly a natural ;) hahaaaa. Gonna struggle to pop sprogs with a body in this state mind you. Surrogate anyone? Aha. And not yet obviously, give me a few years, if my body can wait that long ;)
Sorry for the drama. Just go into panic mode sometimes y’know? Really struggling this past week. Puffing and panting getting from my bed to the bathroom for gawds sake. Still worried about sleeping, but will have to eventually… best keep the inhaler in my gob then eh!
It feels like my lungs have shrunk to a quarter of the size, if not smaller. Can’t get any air in. Everything, even the smallest of movements takes effort. I have to think about breathing. I have to plan coughing. I have to be in control all the time… s’probably why I’m not sleeping. As soon as I lie down to sleep the coughing starts. As soon as I sit up, same again. When I walk up stairs, down stairs, across a flat fucking surface; even as soon as I eat, the coughing starts again. I have to stop myself sometimes because I keep vomiting from the cough, and I can’t afford to lose any more weight. Genuinely feel like I’m slowly gonna disappear into the distance. I’m scared fucking shitless.
Eurgh I’ve got so much to do I can’t afford to stop breathing.
... See them again for a long long time. But it could be one of those things, where if you never say anything, you could miss out on one of the biggest chances of your life. But, I am with someone already, yet we are not quite sure what is happening when we move away for uni, as it doesnt seem like either of us want a long distance relationship. Its a toughie, do I possibly sacrifice my good relationship, that could well be ending in 6 months, or be left wondering about what could have been?
Hello, nice to hear from you! :)
Hmm, well dealing with the first point, that’s actually quite important - you say they become a different person? This is common to an extent with everyone, everyone has different quirks among different folks, and everyone has a slightly different way of acting around their other half, that’s a fact. However, if you can barely spend time with them, or you can’t stand them, or anything like that, you have a problem. YOU NEED TO ADDRESS THIS. Can you elaborate further?
First of all, on the second point, no it’s not ‘wrong’ at all. It’s inconvenient more than anything. I think that the first point - your fella (or mrs, y’know either… aha) being different when out and about - may have something to do with clinging onto this whimsical feeling for another person. To me, this sounds like a feeling that’s stemmed from doubt rather than a deep rooted affection for the other person… I may be wrong of course, I’m just going on the way you’ve phrased it here. It’s almost like you’re looking for a get out clause? I don’t mean that horribly, I kinda know how that feels tis all. When it’s good but it’s not excellent, you’ve got this worry of uni hanging over you and you’ve got this little feeling elsewhere?
I can’t tell you what to do. This is a decision you and only you can make for yourself. I’d say you need to think about this rationally though - if you truly love man (or woman) a to bits then you needn’t move to man (or woman) b. And B is moving away - if you ended it with A and B was right for you but still moved abroad you’d be in an even bigger mess.
I’m not saying don’t go for it, I’m saying weigh it up. Maybe neither would be a better option? Not saying how you feel can leave you with the biggest regret hanging over you. But at the same time, you don’t know what you’ve lost until it’s gone…
Hey, Im going to take you back to your agony aunt days here... Situation goes like this: I have been in a relationship for a long time, and love them to bits, although when we are out they become almost a different person and i can barely spend time with them, but thats another story. I have a close friend who is leaving to go abroad for a while earlyish next year, and I've always wondered whether there could be something more there you know? Is that wrong? Do I tell them? Because I could not...
Should you ever go for the guy that your friend likes too? When you both know you like him...
Errr. To be honest, it’s a difficult one. You’ll probably lose your friend over it if she’s really into him, and no man is worth that. Although it can be a temporary loss… if you both sort of like him then maybe? In general girls world terms though, it’s a no go for either of you. If HE makes a move on YOU however, that’s slightly different. She’ll be pissed but she’d get over it I reckon. Don’t do all the chasing, let him come to you.
Talking of the last point, don’t do all the chasing, I’ve always been the chaser and it’s fucking effort mate, let them do it!
Me & my boyfriend have been together since the start of uni, and it's literally my 1st night away from him since we got together. He's gone out tonight with his friends, which I'm fine with. The bit that I'm not so fine with, is his ex-girlfriend being there. How do I calm myself down? How do I stop myself from going completely bonkers? I'm so jealous, and I feel so sick with worry, and it's just. Ugh. Help me D:
YO, sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you and my answer will probably be slightly on the irrelevant side - Christmas has been hectic and I’ve been answering a fair few non-anon’s!
Right well, FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, this is a rather normal reaction, certainly for the first occurrence at least. She’s just an ex, she means nothing to him now, she’s just gonna be another face in the background, but your head is telling you all sorts of other crazy shit. They’ve got some form of history yes, but you’re his present and his future, so try to bear that in mind. The only other thing I can say to you is be busy - escaping your thoughts is a difficult task, because whatever I say to you will mean bugger all because your thoughts will always get the better of you. Watch films, see friends, get some jobs done, and try and make it the least of your priorities. You can’t stop him seeing her, you’ve just gotta hope he doesn’t so that you had no reason to worry. And if he does he does, he’s with you not her. As long as he’s not a cunt he’ll be with you and only you! If he goes anywhere near her or anyone else he wasn’t worth it in the first place. WHICH HE WON’T.
Also, invest in chocolate for the release of endorphines :)
On another note, I’m really fucking fed up of selfishness. I wonder why I do nice things for anyone. And I’m sick of hearing people’s stories about their bastard ex’s - not because I don’t care, but because they were bastards. I’m bored of all this ignorance that’s about. I don’t like laziness, I don’t like people that think the world owe’s ‘em a favour and I really can’t fucking stand the arrogance that seeps out of every pore of almost every person at the moment. You’re not that fucking great, go home. I also, in contrast, hate the sound of my own voice - I really hate self righteous pricks but I’m being one now aren’t I? Need to get this shit out of my system because I’m fucking WIRED.
All I get is moaned at, or absolutely nothing back if I give anything. Which is NICE. I’m appreciative of what I’ve got, I’m just sick of shit. For fucks sake I wish some people would just get their act together. It’s not down to me to tell them what’s what, but sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever be told or they’ll just keep on sailing in the same old direction?
Angry at the fucking world man. Boiling blood, steaming ears. Sticking music on and answering asks until I think of something better to do.
Sometimes, I think to myself, ‘Am I living in a dream world?’ and then I realise, most of the time, I’m the only person in the real one. GET A GRIP, SORT YOUR PRIORITIES OUT, GROW UP, YADAYADAYADA.
Today, I debated doing something nice. Surprise nice. And now... well, I just can't be arsed to be honest.
Do you ever think to yourself ‘why bother?’.
After reflection between first lying on the massage table and falling asleep on it (whoops) I’ve decided that my efforts to do things just seems sort of wasted. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the world owes me for the things I do - I don’t do THAT much, I just do a few things for people here and there, every now and then. It’d be nice if someone took the reigns in that department for a while. My family are babes and spring things on me from time to time, and I’m grateful. I just. Well, I don’t know really. I’d like to be surprised by something.
jokez that you went back to your ex on the road to another heart break
I find it hilarious that:
a) you put a z on jokes - that’s not even acceptable banter b) no one but those involved actually knows what goes on behind closed doors and yet you’re still quick to judge, showing you are simply no better than your average joe… c) you’re a bitttt of a pussy that hides behind anonymous outbursts on tumblr -tumblr though, seriously? Ahh well, you must be a blog fan/interested in my life. Either nosey, hate me immensely or are ‘a friend’. d) you’ve left your statement without any seemingly real digs, trying to keep your anonymity by sounding simple, as if you have no purpose to say this other than spite. This could be further explained by either:
you having a sad, poor excuse for an existence than involves being a little bitch to others for no reason, in order to boost how you feel about yourself, by mimicking them and taking pleasure in misfortunate circumstances
you have some secret vendetta against me that transpires from nothing but ‘finding me annoying’ or
both of the above plus a little slice of classic jealousy/anger/bitterness.
and e) that you think this will have any profound effect on me whatsoever.
What’s going on with my love life/personal life/etc is my business, and if I’m a muppet and make a mistake then I’ll learn from it. I don’t need to explain myself to someone who doesn’t feel confident enough to talk about these things properly :) Goodbye and good luck with your life, things like this will get you far… Lol.
My dad has the become the most grumpy, unsatisfied, discontent old man and he’s only 40. He’s just text me having a go, calling me rude for not replying to my stepmum’s text from half 10 last night - I was out, a bit tipsy and a bit preoccupied, plus it really wasn’t life or death y’know? Really no point going on at me. He had a go at me on Christmas day because mum and him had bought me the same present. That is my fault how? He won’t tell me about his brain tumour because he doesn’t want to bother me - what the fuck I’m not a child?!!!!
He makes comments all the time, in relation to uni a fair bit. When I first got in his first words were ‘see, you could’ve done better had you worked harder in the first place, got into a better university’. How horrible is that to hear when you’re one of the small minority that got into their first choice uni without any hiccups? Don’t be happy for me or proud of me dad. Then he came to pick me up from uni and I wanted to show him my flat but he didn’t want to see? Like what is that? We went to one open day together, and one only, because he spent the entire day moaning.
People wonder where I get it from…
I’ll just never be good enough for my dad, for pathetic reasons. Sad isn’t it?
“I really hope that at some (near) future moment in time, i will know exactly what i want and how i can work to get it. i also hope that when i get it, i don’t waste it, resent it and am content with it. do you know how big an ask that is?”—Me, on tumblr, a year ago. Jeez.