It’s so annoying. Around me are people that can walk around without a care in the world, it may be a little cold, a little wet, they may be angry at the world or stressed or in a rush, but most people have a joyful look in their face. They want to be here, they have nothing stopping them.

I’m sitting on a chair outside h&m coughing my guts up and trying to breathe. That’s it, just breathe. And today for some reason, the little get well angel isn’t around and every step I take feels like a stabbing to the chest. Each breath I take is deep, the look on my face is serious, I can’t concentrate because I’m trying not to start dying in the middle of every shop we walk into. I’ve forgotten most of what I need to get and I can’t be bothered to remember, because I just want to get the essentials and go back to bed. I haven’t the energy to keep trailing. I also haven’t the time to stop.

It’s frustrating because I’m with Lucy, and I want to go around with her and get what she needs and catch up with her but I feel like I’m going to collapse. She keeps asking if I’m alright and I am, I’m just annoyed that simple things are now some kind of god awful chore. And I keep needing to stop or get a drink or what not and that must be annoying. I don’t want to worry her and I want to fully participate in this really quite simple shipping trip but I just… Can’t. And it annoys me that some of the people around me look like they’re about to throw a wobbly and what for? You have lungs that work and allow you to walk, you should be fucking grateful enough for that!